I knew raising a puppy would be hard.

I knew we would need to work hard to nurture the relationship between the two dogs.

And I knew all of this would be doubly hard because of the breeds we’ve chosen.

Yet, I hadn’t quite realised just how much work the combination of all those things would be. I’m really grateful that I have the time while on my sabbatical to focus on the dogs, and that I have the luxury of being unhurried in everyday life. If I had needed to go back to work full time after, say, two weeks off to welcome the puppy in our house, I would be a nervous wreck because it is already a part time job to look after these two dogs because we need to consider both dogs’ needs and their interaction.

The baseline is that our existing dog, Nell, is very active and needs a lot of mental stimulation, as well as being a keen resource guarder. Add a bouncy puppy to the mix, and I have a lot of preventive policing to do by removing toys from the floor and watching their body language when they move around from the corner of my eye.

From that same corner I try to keep track of what Grace is up to because practically every minute she has a different thing in her mouth – cables, cardboard boxes, kitchen roll that was on the low coffee table, wood chip or ivy leaves from the garden… and of course her own poop. She also likes to jump of the back of the sofa (sometimes straight into the pavement in the garden!) which is not good for her bones, so it’s my job to try to protect her from her fearless young brain.

If I don’t pay attention, Nell will try to sneak into Grace’s playpen to steal one of the toys – that is, when she isn’t requesting the garden door to be opened for her for the 11th time that day. We could, of course, just not open the door for her but dogs don’t have the internet, books or TV – i.e. anything to entertain them. So if my philosophy is to give her a rich, fulfilling life, I can make that small effort to give her access when she wants it – just a sniff is as important a reason to want to go outside than a toilet need. Thank goodness for spring and warmer weather so I can just leave the door open!

Now, if all that wasn’t enough, my biggest job of all is to make sure the dogs sleep. Of course, I take them out for their exercise and balance Nell’s needs with Grace’s age limitations but by far the hardest thing for two FOMO spaniels is to get them to settle, relax and sleep. As long as I’m moving around the house and doing things, I will usually have two faces following me around – even if they are lying down, their eyes will be open to make sure I don’t have any fun without their knowledge…

Puppies obviously need a lot of sleep to grow their body and mind, but sleep deprivation is challenging for even adult dogs. Psychological research on humans has shown that when we are sleep deprived, we are more irritable, prone to mood swings and perceiving things to be a threat when they are not – all of which are detrimental to nurturing a positive relationship between Nell and Grace.

Getting them to sleep enough is a more important job right now than making sure they have a lot of exercise. As busy doggies they keep their minds busy just in the garden by themselves and with our daily nosework games, but they need some help in finding their “off switch”. So what do I do? I sit down either on the sofa or at my desk, and wait for them to settle and start snoring. I don’t move even to go to the toilet to make sure they definitely fall into deep REM sleep because that is when their body repairs and regrows itself, and their minds process emotions and events of the day. Dogs also reach REM sleep less than humans (10% vs 25%) which is why they need to sleep so much more than we do. 

So, here I am – blogging about dogs sleeping while they sleep. And I’m definitely going to let these sleeping puppers lie as long as possible before heading out for a walk 🙂

My biggest fear about getting a puppy, or second dog in general, was that they would not get along with Nell who is mostly the sweetest dog you’ll meet – except when it comes to whatever she considers her possessions.

And even more unfortunately, Nell’s definition of “her” possessions is the widest possible you could imagine – it has previously included sofa cushions, hoodie sleeves hanging off a chair, and even the other dog’s humans if they happen to have been friendly to Nell. A perceived, potential loss of any possession can turn Nell into Cujo in a split second – despite our hard work over the years as this is something she didn’t learn as a puppy. Nell is also very attached to me and we anticipated this would also cause problems.

“Who is she, why is she here and WHEN is she going AWAY?!”

I decided to disregard the advice in one of the puppy books I read (Pippa Mattinson’s excellent The Happy Puppy Handbook) about taking the existing dog with you to pick up the puppy because we were travelling all the way to Warsaw to get Grace. The reason was that car is a safe space for Nell, and in the past we have noticed that travelling has made our bond even stronger – possibly because in a new environment, she feels more of a need to rely on us – and I hoped that spending that time in the car together it would go some way to help Nell adjust to the puppy’s presence. We had planned to make the long drive home in one go to avoid spending the first night with the puppy in a hotel, but the autobahn literally threw a spanner in that plan with a flat tyre 3h from home in the middle of the night, and so the dogs spent their first night together in neutral settings.

“What do you mean I can’t go in there and get those toys? They’re in my house so they’re MINE.”

At home we created a safe space for the puppy to play in – contrary to the advice in most puppy books, in our house it was the puppy who needed a break from the older dog wanting to steal all her toys! Little by little, Nell has learned to respect that the playpen is Grace’s space although if the opportunity arises, she will probably sneak in to scavenge for any treats that might be left over.

Morning cuddles in bed for EVERYONE

We have tried to make sure that Nell gets all the attention and love she wants, when she wants it so that she doesn’t feel like she is missing out. She has taken some time to get used to the puppy but 12 days in it feels like we are making great progress. In the first 2-3 days we had some worrying situations where Nell’s corrections weren’t yet calibrated to dealing with a puppy, but even though some of the boundaries and rules are still being negotiated, she seems less threatened by Grace’s presence and has learned to communicate her views more appropriately.

We have observed a gradual rapprochement of sleeping positions on the sofa – from just being on the same side, to feeling comfortable sleeping belly up, and finally bums touching this morning! Nell had curled up next to me for her post-breakfast nap, and did not move when Grace snuggled up next to her.

We have also witnessed some remarkable progress in Nell’s self-restraint when it comes to valuable possessions. Just yesterday she was able to just watch Grace eat a chew barely a metre from her – but I will admit this wasn’t entirely spontaneous as I had a few stern words with Nell to advise her that the right place to be was in her own bed.

I have no doubt that we still have a long way to go, but I have much more hope now that they will one day be good friends – just like these two adorable cocker brothers.

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