The bittersweet nature of love and loss

It’s been a month and we miss this lady more than words can say – her absence means our lives are much quieter, and it feels a bit like the balance of our family has been shaken.

She was my constant companion for so many years that on some days it feels a part of me is missing – and perhaps feeling a little lost without without my benevolent furry tyrant constantly bossing me around ❤

At the same time it’s bittersweet to realise that one thing we have also lost is constant worry. I wouldn’t say I “always knew” we’d lose her early, but looking back I can see it has weighed on my mind for years, starting from her arthritis issues 2 years ago. The prospect of losing her became especially tangible in August and after that it was a quiet but constant concern in my mind – that we could lose her at any moment.

On the one hand it made us appreciate every moment with her – something I wish more dog guardians would remember when their dogs are still young because you never know how much time you’ll have together.

On the other hand, it was exhausting to live with the cold fist of fear pinching my heart and the anxiety of wondering whether I could a better job of looking after my best friend. Now that those are gone, a weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

In its place I now have sadness (which surprises me at the most inconvenient times) but also… space for new things to come into our lives because there is no spring without fall and winter 🧡

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